Comparison is the Thief of Joy
Full transparency: this blog was inspired by a conversation with a member and some recent reflections on my own experiences, and interactions with other athletes.. I’ve noticed a recurring theme of comparison affecting people’s happiness and self-worth, and I believe this topic is relevant to everyone.
From a young age, we’re often compared to others. Parents compare their kids in the sandbox: “That kid knows their letters, why doesn’t mine yet?” or “They’re tall for their age; is something wrong with my kid?” At work, we’re compared to colleagues based on job performance or revenue generated. But one of the least helpful places to compare yourself to others is in the gym—a space where we are especially vulnerable.
The gym is a vulnerable place. Before I go any further, let me say this: if you’re at the gym, you’re already winning. In a world that often chooses ease and comfort over effort and grit, you’ve made the decision to better yourself, your health, and your situation. The last thing you should do is compare yourself to someone else at the gym.
You likely have very little information about the person you’re comparing yourself to. You might assume, “It’s easy for them,” or think they’re “blessed with good genetics.” You might even say to yourself, “I’d be happy if I looked like that.” The truth is, they’re probably thinking the same thing about someone else.
What you don’t see is the social anxiety they overcame just to show up at the gym.
What you don’t see is the 60 minutes they carved out for self-care amidst raising kids and working a 60-hour week.
What you don’t see is the eating disorder and body dysmorphia they overcame to get where they are today.
What you don’t see is the ex-partner who told them they weren’t good enough.
What you don’t see is the aging athlete comparing themselves to their abilities from 15 years ago, or before having a baby, or before an injury.
The truth is, you know very little about that person’s backstory. The only full story and background information you have is your own. If you want to compare yourself, compare yourself to who you were yesterday. Even then, it’s not always a fair fight depending on where your journey started.
Compare your daily efforts based on your current goals. Maybe the goal is to crush the workout. Maybe it’s to move pain-free today. Maybe it’s to detach from the outside world for an hour. Maybe it’s to improve the range of motion in a nagging joint. Maybe it’s choosing whole foods over fast food. Compare the effort you put in each day based on what YOU are trying to achieve. Remember, it’s the small, consistent efforts that lead to anything worthwhile.
In summary, let go of comparisons and focus on your unique journey. Celebrate your efforts and achievements, no matter how small they may seem. In doing so, you’ll find greater joy and fulfillment in your progress.
Nick Carignan
CrossFit 8 Mile
